Sublime Vacuity

Tuesday, 06 May 2008

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!   I pulled it off somehow. Could be the Mo'jinx, you know how when you mention something in your blog or in the many behind the scenes Momails or chats and it happens in real life?

There I was yesterday posting and wallowing in the Trailer Parks biggest pity party about my inability for the first time ever to get a job and all the shit the man makes you go through just to apply for the privilege of being turned down.

This morning started out no differently.   Got up, hiked with Cavedog and emailed a few evil HRs for jobs I had applied for and heard nothing from. At this point I have nothing to lose so I wrote one HR that I saw the position frequently in the classifieds and promised not to be worse than any of the past people he had hired.

I also applied for a few more jobs online like they wanted and took the most insane personality test ever. Those questions can usually try to be tricky and sometimes the choices they give for answers dont fit but one test section made me pick between two choices.

I would rather

have marshmallow fluff stuffed in my ears or w$#k with someone sloppy and lazy

smell something awful or have one task to accomplish all day

be probed by aliens or fall down the stairs

I have no idea what they wanted, maybe that was the drug test.

After that the dark clouds blew in and we had our first rain in over two months. I drove around in my crappy economy car with the dried out wipers smearing pine sap all over the windshield picking up more and more applications.

Big Brother has been freaking me out like I mentioned yesterday, its impossible to get a job without piss, prints or a letter from the Governor but the apps I picked up today were even worse. One job wanted the application notarized before I returned it and another wanted me to pay 30 bucks towards a $47 fingerprint check and they wanted 5 references instead of the usual 3.

When I finally got home with a raging headache to fill out my epic tragedy of a life saga the message light on the phone was blinking and it was about a job. One I had called and left my name and number ages ago and forgotten about.

Anyway I recognized the callers name as an old friend of roomies, called him back and told him who I was and immediately went over to talk to him in person. Spent several hours talking in the strangest noninterview ever and got hired.

No application, no resume, no drug test, no references, no motivational posters, no dress code, no meetings, no personality tests, no background check, no fingerprints, no strengths, no weaknesses, no dmv report and most importantly NO CORPORATE AMERICA. Just assisting an individual who needs assitance.   Even met other people who have been around for years, its a legit job. Yes, I bought extra lottery tickets on my way home.

Suck it Big Brother!
sculpture
I'm Back!!!

posted by: rustymadgal at 05/06/08 21:26 | link | comments (16) |

Comments:

#1 06 May 2008 - 23:26

well, you deserve it. and this is a beautiful post!

howard

#2 07 May 2008 - 04:05

Outstanding! You go, girl!

Ladyinthemoon

#3 07 May 2008 - 04:08

i'm still ha ha ha ha ha ha ing!
Thanks, I'm up this early to go to non-soul sucking w$#k!
And now I can add I"m Featured Post! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha

rustymadgal

#4 07 May 2008 - 05:20

Hooray! Yipee ei aaaaa!!!!

Leigh

#5 07 May 2008 - 05:54

woohoo! proving again that it's all about who you know!

stick it to da man!!! wooooooo!

one

#6 07 May 2008 - 06:10

brilliant! and congrats!

limine

#7 07 May 2008 - 14:51

*applauds* Way to go, Rusty! Love the "non-soul sucking" comment.

RomaCittaEterna

#8 07 May 2008 - 19:55

I dont think its going to pour but when I got home today from w%$king but pleasantly not for the man there was a message from the evil HR I had emailed yesterday promising not to be as bad as the last person he hired. I had signed the mail that I had never been fired too.

Anyway he wanted to schedule an interview. His company is about as Corporate Man as they come but he must have a sense of humor. Think I'll stay where I am though. Close call, if he would have contacted me just 18 hrs earlier I could have been assimilated. Whew

rustymadgal

#9 08 May 2008 - 03:06

Good luck Rusty! Great job. Now, about the marshmallow fluff stuffed in your ears....

Norman

Anonymous

#10 08 May 2008 - 07:54

The only official dance of joy that we know is the "Pee Pee on the Potty" dance, and we're doing it for you. Congratulations!