Perfection in a dog suit.

posted by: rustymadgal at 07/02/08 09:41 | link | comments (9) |

Who says there arent any bargains left?

posted by: rustymadgal at 06/19/08 11:30 | link | comments (6) |

The neighbors had company. 


Cavedog loves the other dogs more than they love him.  He's obnoxious and doesnt let up playing and chewing on them when they want to rest.  They all know he's afraid to go in my neighbors house or behind the shed so when he gets to be too wild they hide leaving him behind crying. 

Just like that poor weird funny smelling kid  your mom made you invite to your birthday party in the fifth grade.

I havent been blogging since going back to w#@k .  This job gives me absolutely no material. 

Unless you want to hear about how my new boss made me sit on the porch and drink beer last Friday and enjoy the sunshine (on the clock), consistently offers sweets or how hes forcing me to  consume even more beer and go to an outdoor concert next month.   That bastard, the nerve of some people.

I have seriously lucked out into the job of a lifetime.   The last 6 years have been such an intensive w$#k hell I didnt think I could ever let my w$#K guard down this quickly.  All the crazies are always on their best behavior when somebody new starts but this environment isnt a mirage.  Its really healthy and good and obviously noncorporate America.   No evil HR, handbook or posters.

Its almost but not really like a lottery win.   My head doesnt hurt,  I'm not cussing and whining the whole drive in, I can even cuss during w$#k for fun!  This is truly amazing, its been way too many years since lifes been this easy and I am enjoying the ride.  Its exactly the way it should be.












I dont want to lose my edge though.  The non-canine/finally-being- treated-decently-job part of the World still suck.   Been trying to think of things that piss me off besides hate mongering under the guise of God Mo'douche bags lest I forget my humble Trailer Park beginnings.  Bliss ninny is so not my style.

Its a lame list  but its a start. 


Reminders that the world is a cold stupid ugly ruthless cruel place

• How can a Musical Universe that can produce Bon Jovi, produce this song?

The only thing worse I can think of would be if cable only showed The Nanny reruns.

• Hyphen-ated names.  Dumb!  Pick one or pick the other.  Let a last name go.  If it comes back to you, use it as your middle name reducing your hy-phen footprint 98%.  The polar bears will thank you.  Hell, I'm on my third last name and never been married.   Change is good.
  

• Our new neighbors.  Roomie has named them the Loudenphats.   They dont speak at a normal level. They shout and spend their days wandering around their new front yard already junked up with tires and toys, bellowing into their cell phones.  Evenings are spent hanging out on the front porch with all their friends.  Window rattling, soul vibrating bass blaring from the car thats parked in the front yard.  Happy days are here again.

• Buying feminine protection.   I dont even know what to call it these days.  Back in the dark ages when we used to only have gym shoes or tennis shoes it would have been plainly called maxi pads but now its gotten complicated.
  

          So many choices, even after carefully reading the pretty floral package that makes the
           hormonal cheese grating of my uterine lining every month festive and girly I inadvertently
           came home with a pack that proudly boasted  "Now With Wings" .

            I  HATE the Wings!  Three total pieces of tape and needing a laser guided                                   measuring tool to perfectly line everything  up make the "Now With Wings" way too
             much for my short attention span and someday encroaching menopause.

             The next trip to the store I scanned the 6 shelves of F.P. making sure my purchase didnt
             fly the "NWW' banner.  Satisfied until I got home and found out I inadvertently forgot to
             make sure they also werent "Extra Long".   "Extra Long" is just as bad as "Now With
              Wings."  Unless my back gets cold or I'm suffering from nose bleeds or stigmata keep   
              those things away from me.

Now back to my regularly scheduled day off.

posted by: rustymadgal at 06/16/08 13:12 | link | comments (11) |

Bastards, why didnt they tell me this before I lost 3 fingers.  Its not everyday I have to open a plastic bag.

The Universe is continuing to make a turn around.  Besides still being extremely calm and satisfied at w$#k , today this news story hit the internet...

"It's time to get in line again for one of Hollywood's most handsome thesps: After a storied romance that began in a Las Vegas nightspot, George Clooney and Miss Stupid Hoochie have split up.

While a rep for Clooney would not confirm or deny the breakup, a source tells People that the couple is over. In the absence of official statements so far, the tabloids are buzzing with comments from "sources," one of whom tells In Touch, "George is relieved to be single again. He thinks MIss S.H. is gnarly  and that is why it wasnt so hard to break up with her."

The alleged insider went on to say, "The truth is that they had little in common, she was always shiny in photographs,  her eyebrows were drawn on with a Sharpie  and he's finally come to his senses and realized Rustymadgal completes him.  He's jetting to the Trailer Park right now with a seriously big rock set in platinum to whisk her away to start a dog retirement home on the shores of Lake Como."

It's time for the Mo'jinx to w$#k its magic.

posted by: rustymadgal at 05/28/08 21:57 | link | comments (7) |

I want my imaginary global warming and I want it now Dammit!   Another snow just three days after a record breaking 85.  I have finally put away my winter clothes, ripped the plastic off the windows and dug out the fans.  The poor leafy trees are now all bent in half, ragged and wilted from last weeks blizzard.

Something truly incredible however is happening in the Trailer Park.   My new job is going so well and so non-corporate merica someday soon I may not spell it w$#k.   There is no dread upon waking up anymore and twice I've gone in without checking my lottery tickets first.  Generally most jobs I start under the caution flag and try my best to maintain the glossy faux optimism painted by the evil HR knowing all the while its only a matter of time before the mans toxicity gurgles to the surface and I'm forced to pee in a cup, be brainwashed by motivational posters during breaktime and learn teamw$#k by building a popsicle stick boat.  I'm 99.999999% sure that just isnt going to happen here.  I'm seeing now exactly what I'm getting and its fine.  I'm fine, my boss is fine, my cow$#kers are fine (the one guy who asks every woman out not so fine but I've been thru worse and I did get a warning it was coming)  its all fine and a relief.

posted by: rustymadgal at 05/23/08 10:38 | link | comments (13) |

What's wrong with this picture?














Shorts yesterday and woke up to this today.   Easily half a foot.   One internet forecast is still saying 66 and sunny today.  Everything on here isnt true?  Gasp!

posted by: rustymadgal at 05/13/08 09:03 | link | comments (8) |

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