Much ado about W$#K!

My current job is just like the other 116 jobs i've had before it.  A blue collar vacuum. 

  If it were possible to outsource our w#@k to some poor Third World toddler for .25 a day my company wouldnt even be here.  So instead they are doing the next best thing.  Building another w#@ksite up north  where they will hire the developmentally disabled and pay them less and making cutbacks with us.

Everyone does get a candy bar but the big Holiday Bonus is a gift card (here i go again being tacky talking about money so i wont name exact numbers)  with a double digit retail value of not more than 25.01.  The eligibility requirements were one full year of employment but that has just been raised to five years.   Guess who will never see one of those babies.

As with most places there are many titled management positions.  You cant have management without someone to manage so us bottom feeders are subject to a plethora of meetings.

  We have Dept Meetings, Monthly Dept Meetings, Teamw$#k Building Academies, Safety Meetings, Evaluations and Town Halls just to name a few.

Most recently we had a Monthly Dept Meeting with absolutely nothing to discuss until i brought up the possibility of donuts/snacks at the next one.  My boss seconded the motion and i think we are getting cookies in Feb.  We ended up having to wait another 15 minutes for the evil HR and the Big Boss to show up.   What was their big announcement?  The anticipation was killing me.

 Some people were taking too long at break and they are watching us now.  That was it.   Pretty scary.

Our most recent Safety Meeting was a Powerpoint presentation on Hypothermia.  Very interesting since we have had two middle of the night fire drills three weeks apart this winter where i was forced to stand outside in a T-shirt.  I no longer keep my coat in my locker. 

During the presentation they were explaining how to treat a hypothermia casuality.  I always thought a casuality was already dead but upon looking it up it can mean someone still alive.  In this case i'll just take it to mean someone not only frozen but dead in spirit, having been killed by the Man.

As with any blue collar chain gang w#@k gloves are a necessity.  The company does supply them but you have to ask as they are kept under lock and key. 

Anyway my sweet boss had the pleasure of informing us that  the Man thinks we use too many gloves and they want to inspect our old ones before we are issued a new pair.   I smell not only sweaty gloves but middle aged white men protecting their bonus.

I'm sure besides drugs my state is the leader in smuggling gently used w%$k gloves.

I've been w%$king on a Powerpoint presentation of my own for our next meeting. 


 (Actually i'm not really sure what Powerpoint is but it sounds good.  Much better than the overhead projectors and graphs on giant paper of the days of yore.)

I'm going to include my plans to perfect my w$#k technique only using one hand, therefore making my precious precious w#@k gloves last twice as long and help preserve the Mans bonus.  Golf trips and trophy wives dont come cheap these days. 

Having employees fill up their water bottles at home is another idea, but i think i'll put that one in the Official Suggestion Box, you can get a reward for submitting a money saving idea.  

This is reminiscent of the Snarky Wife of the old job putting the ONE SPRAY ONLY PLEASE, IT"S EXPENSIVE note on the can of air freshener in the restroom.   Personally if someone felt the need for more than one squirt i was more than willing to chip in for that one.

posted by: rustymadgal at 01/28/07 13:50 | link | comments (6) |

Have always had a love/hate with the Soaps.

 Started in my early teens with General Hospital, the Luke and Laura years.  Flunked a class in college that i'd skip to watch All My Children in the TV room with a cute guy.  Move on to the mid-80's, Santa Barbara.  Eden and Cruz, one of my favorite couples ever.

 Had a job in the late 90's with a TV and they got me hooked on Guiding Light.  Thats been my show on and off ever since depending on my w#@k schedule.

I realize there are only so many plot twists in Soaps.  Affairs being Number One or is it the rainy late night head on car crash cliffhanger on a deserted road?  .

 Then we move on to kidnappings, the powerful evil family who rules the town, brain transplants, long lost identical twins and maroonings after a plane crash where everyone thinks they are dead but they are really being held captive in some secret island retreat by a crazy guy.

Silly entertaining crap but sometimes i have to take a break from watching.  They never let anyone be happy for long and it drives me crazy.  I'm dont consider myself a bliss ninny either,  more of a realist with a razor sharp edge but also i get that shit is what we make it.  In general except for w#@k, the decline of the environment and abuse of animals i'm a damn happy person.  I dont choose misery.

Back to the Guiding Light, Jonathan and Tammy finally got married this week.  Of course this happened after months of setbacks, breakups, a baby and marriage to another woman and general crap.  They are cousins but somehow that doesnt seem too bad in their case and i was so happy they finally got together.  I believe in love but know the writers are going to f%$k it up soon.

What i didnt know was how soon.  The day after their surprise wedding Tammy saves Jonathan from a hit and run driver by pushing him out of the way and takes the hit herself.  Shes in the hospital in a coma.  No biggie i think shes going to pull out of it.  They always do.  Reva flatlined on a Friday last month, her heart restarted on Monday and by Thursday she was out having coffee. Maybe Tammy will have amnesia for a few weeks but her and Jonathan will get to live happily ever after for a few episodes at least

The  Guiding Lights ends each day at 1:53, they have a short commercial break and then show scenes from tomorrows episode.  After that i turn off the TV ASAP before Family Feud comes on. 

Repulsive and part of the decline of the American Empire,  Family Feud sucks!   During the commercial break an ad aired for a  Soap Opera Magazine and they are blaring "TAMMY DIES"! showing  a picture of the cover with Tammy Dies for the headline.  WTF!????  I still had hope.  She hasnt died on the show yet.

 I've googled a few show sites  and it looks like this is the truth.   Shes not dead on the show yet, why would they do this?   I hate a buzzkill.   I love the lottery, i dont go into debt to do it but play the lottery daily.  Odds are i will never win but it gives me hope daily that w$#k could be over forever.  Keep the faith!

The main thing on my mind is my Sons health.  Hes doing very well.  Four different meds for a total of nine pills one two and three times daily and  hes still up and running.  Seems happy enough.  Three weeks after he was supposed to flatline.  Everyday i'm thrilled we get more time but there still is that huge ball of grief in my gut.  I've gone thru not being hungry at first to trying to fill it up with lots of chocolate but its still there.

Grief is part of the deal but it feels selfish and i'm not trying to paint my self as being some selfless giving saint.   I've done the best i could for Son, he has had plenty of love and attention from me and roomie and many of my friends.  There are poor suffering dogs all around us in this Trailer Park who are never ever let inside or even walked that i've noticed.

This is the end of his life and if i could offer him another 15 good years or one cheeseburger right now, no doubt he would choose the cheeseburger without a second thought.  Why is it so painful for the ones who will continue living?   I  have no idea how to handle the void and my broken heart that Son will leave behind and i will.  Its going to be gianormous. 

Everyone dies.  In general roomie and i both have a fairly good handle on our own deaths.  Sometimes we argue about who gets to die first and leave the other stuck scooping litter boxes and cleaning up hairballs.  We are not suicidal and are going to play the game out.  

I'm also an athesist so Son is either going to cease to exist entirely,  which in my opinion is a loss to the entire Universe or there is another step in our existence.  Not a heaven or hell just more.  I went to see John Edward, 5 times last year in a big group setting.  I'm well aware of psychic mediums being able to scam people with cold readings but i think he could be real.  Wont know until the time comes where he calls on me or my time comes.  At any rate his message is simple and positive, appreciate what you got while you got it. 

 Time for w#@k, there goes my belief system, hell does exist.

posted by: rustymadgal at 01/23/07 16:25 | link | comments (8) |

You be the judge.

Harmless frozen pizza...












or once installed in the convenient enclosed microwave "crisping" tray does it become an insidious alien craft.  Out to take over our world, one tummy at a time.



The truth and better pizza are out there.

posted by: rustymadgal at 01/16/07 06:08 | link | comments (5) |

Very cold snowy weekend.  Nobody was on the trail, it was perfect.  Wimps.  My main motivation was that a hike would lead to guilt free consumption of quite a few chocolate chip pecan sandies.

  Frankies new hobby after years of chasing his own tail is trying to stuff his mono-oculared head into a half empty (or is it half full) box of Kleenex.   I wasnt quick enough to get a picture but he'll try again.  That cat doesnt give up easily.





































We have a Redneck Angel, some guy in our Trailer Park who comes out with his snowblower after each storm and cleans the sidewalk on our side of the street.  Guessing he got it for Christmas and the novelty will wear off by next month but for now he is my mystery camo clad chain smoking hero.  Yes little ZuZu, everytime an engine revs a redneck gets a beer.

posted by: rustymadgal at 01/14/07 16:12 | link | comments (7) |

Things are getting back to normal around the Trailer Park. 


 We had a beautiful warm week and Son seems to be getting stronger everyday.   Yesterday he really started smiling again and bouncing around in an old dog way. 

 I have no idea why, maybe its all the love that was sent, (Thank you everyone!) or the medications or most likely the shelf full of treats.  That dogs not going anywhere while theres still a Snausage in the house.

 Damn Son, i walked around for two weeks with the most unattractive red puffy eyes even blubbering in front of strangers for nothing.  I know theres no cure but for now this time is better than winning the coverall at Bingo.  A winter storm did blow in this morning so we're dreading the possibility of the cold knocking him on his butt again.

Another sign of business as usual in the Universe,  I HATE my freaking job with a passion!  That old familiar urge to quit is bubbling up like a Coors light bought warm and forgotten in the freezer.

 No really entertaining stories there.  I have ended up really liking a few cow%$kers and my boss is extremely nice but thats the problem,  We have a few mouthbreathers who are really taking advantage and making life rougher on the rest of us.   I  really do have to stay there for now but at least i'm not alone in my misery.

I'm not a movie quoter and it wasnt one of my favorite films but this scene from As Good As It Gets has always stuck in my head.  The part where Jack comes out of his shrinks office and looks around at the waiting room full of people and says, "What if this is as good as it gets?" 

Beautiful.  What if?

posted by: rustymadgal at 01/12/07 07:59 | link | comments (9) |

The experts are right.  Catnip is a gateway drug only leading to harder habits.

It was a relatively quiet New Years Eve.  Even Roomie stayed in and The Princess and I were curled up in our recliner  watching the South Park Marathon.   We were also sharing a beer.

I never offered The Princess her first drink but on her own she started licking the mouths of bottles when we werent looking.  She is always interested in people food and will nibble a number of fruits and vegetables.

 Its to the point where she comes running when she sees a beer bottle so if i let her lick  the top a few times she'll lose interest and leave me alone.  I do not advocate boozing with your pets ( we dont pour her any she just licks the glass) but this is a Trailer Park.

Back to New Years,  all was fine until she took care of a matter of personal hygiene and then decided she wanted another "sip".   Just in time i yanked the bottle back but was she ever pissed.  If looks could kill...

posted by: rustymadgal at 01/09/07 16:17 | link | comments (8) |

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