I learned how to type the "right way"  without looking at the keyboard eons ago in a one room high school.   It's probably the only thing they taught me i'll ever use for i'm about to gouge my eyeballs out and still want to blog.

  Just drove by my trailer park neighbors making out at the bus stop.  In broad daylight.  The day after Jesus' birthday.  Why, why do you hate me Universe?  All i wanted was a sammich.

I'm finally over the probation period of my new job and eligible for health insurance.  I know its hard to believe they offer more after their generous holiday bonus of a candy bar and a mandatory 11 hr shift Christmas Day/Night.  Am i lucky or what?

Last year The Man switched to a cheaper health care company.  I heard it was terrible and it is.  Not even up to HMO standards.  At this point if i get sick  the only two providers in the plan are this guy











or this one. 






On the positive side, the job has burnt every trace of Betty Crocker and her cursed Warm Delights off my ass.  I've unpacked the jeans from my thirties which feels  pretty damn good.

i've also lost a good deal of the feeling in my fingers from this job.  I'm not alone in that, but one cow$#ker said after the surgery her hands were as good as new.  I sure hope rattlesnake venom does the trick.

 
If not i remember this crazy kid from my wild youth.  He would win bar room bets by letting a lit cigarette burn  through a ten dollar bill into his skin.  Could be in my future.  There is a bright side to nerve damage.

I also relocated to another department.   The w%$k is physically a little easier but it is an estrogen heavy evironment.  Danger Danger. 

True to my theory w%$king mainly with women led to many many baked goodies last week but there is also tons of bitching and drama.  I said something to one of them last night as i was leaving and she totally ignored me.  She is always pissed about someone, guess its my turn.  Havent been around her since last Weds and everything was fine then.  Cant stand most women, would make a terrible lesbian.

On the other hand we have one female there who is the title holder for Mrs Universal Congeniality.  Everyday she greets me like i just survived being lost at sea for two months floating on a toothpick.  "How ARE you????!!!!"  Of course every one syllable word being stretched out to three.

Despite the friendliness we have voted her most likely to come in some day and slaughter everyone in a hail of gunfire.

Two cow%$kers were talking about their kids.  One mentioned her bad daughter.  I said my daughter was bad and then said she was a  cat.  We started joking around but Mrs Friendly asked me why i called her a cat.  I said because she is a cat.

Last month Mrs Friendly and i had this conversation about families.  She has kids and i dont.  I have my cats and dog.  So i figured she remembered our talk the other night when she then asked me if i also had a son.  I said yes, hes eight and has one eye.

 Mrs Friendly then launched into this it takes a village speech about how disabled children were so adaptable and strong and she was sure my son was doing fine.  She wasnt joking.  I then had to stop her again and repeat very slowly he also was a cat.  My children are cats because they are feline.  Ohhhhhhh.  One night when she comes blasting thru the door with her AK47 i'm sure i'm tops on the list.

posted by: rustymadgal at 12/26/06 16:16 | link | comments (9) |

Todays the third anniversary of my first Mo'posting. Whats happened since that fateful winters eve so many months ago? Same trailer? Check. Roomie still asking me to move out? Check. Six different jobs? Check. Same crappy economy car with fake spoiler? Check, but only 3 more payments to go. The Princess? Made her grand entrance five months later and has gnawed her way into all our hearts. 356,987 hours logged on chat and 5 million momails? Check. Someone kick me in the ass, please!

posted by: rustymadgal at 12/24/06 09:57 | link | comments (9) |

Couchspuds.  That little bright green stuffed Grinch was in my room.   The cats decided to claim it and carried it out to their lair.









Resting up before their next search and destroy mission in the trailer.  I put up their Christmas stockings and decided it was silly to giftwrap their presents like i usually do but still couldnt bring myself to leave the pricetags on.

posted by: rustymadgal at 12/17/06 14:39 | link | comments (9) |

I would hope this is personal, dont even want to think of the alternative.

posted by: rustymadgal at 12/16/06 15:36 | link | comments (6) |

The Princess Vs. Roomies New $2500. Wide Screen HDTV Home Theater System

Coming Soon to a Trailer Park near you.

Tens and tens of words have been written on this blog about The Princess and her love of chewing up electrical cords.  Phones, lamps, tvs, amps she doesnt have a discriminating palate although the skinny wires are her favorite. 

So when roomie bought his big tv i immediately wrapped the power cord in foil like all the rest of our wires.  A few weeks later he bought the HD 5 Disc DVD player with 355 speakers of surround sound goodness. 

His son in law came over and hung up all the speakers and connected the wiring.  They said they had all the cords tucked back where the cats couldnt get them.  My exhaustion from my evil all night job clouded my better judgement  and i didnt double check and wrap them anyway.

Two weeks ago i heard the smack smack of pink freckled lips and The Princess was behind the equipment and chewed up the speaker wire to the subwoofer in several places before i could stop her.  I spliced it back together and tried the DVD player.   The power kept shutting off when i played one disc but the rest w^%ked fine.  Eventually that problem went away.

So last weekend i went to watch a movie and the whole DVD player kept shutting off after a few seconds but first a code for check speaker connections would light up in the little display window.  Being Saturday night India wasnt open so i couldnt call the customer support number until the next day.

 In the meantime i labeled and unhooked all the wiring to double check it and unplugged and replugged the whole deal into the wall.  Nothing.  At one point we heard a loud pop and the DVD player wouldnt light up at all for quite a while.

The next day when India finally opened, 9 - 3 EST if any of you are planning a visit, i called and  the rep told me to do all i had already done.  He was nice and helpful but it was still busted.  It doesnt seem like a speaker wire would shut the power off since the power cord to the wall  was fine but the rep said it would.  I even tried totally disconnecting the spliced wire.   Roomie took the player back to the store and they are going to send it off to be checked out but i have the feeling this bills on me so this week its back to 4 million hours of overtime courtesy of The Princess.

I will say Roomie can be an asshole at times and even forgot my birthday this year but he took this really well.  I'm proud of him.  Everyone should be as loved as The Princess.

posted by: rustymadgal at 12/13/06 16:32 | link | comments (4) |

The horror of a big mistake i willingly made last week is finally beginning to fade.   It was one of those deals where i knew it was a bad idea from the start but couldnt stop myself.   Damn you curiosity.   Damn you! 

It all started innocently enough, i was enjoying reading one of my fav websites.     Somebody posted the story about Britney Spears being snapped by the paparazzi without her underwear and the comments they were making were so awful i just had to click the NSFW link and see for myself thinking she really didnt do this. 

The instant that page opened my retinas burned with REGRET.   It was all true, hideous and disturbing. Nothing in the Trailer Park prepared me for what i saw.  I've apologized profusely to my brain and my eyes for subjecting them to those grotesque photos of her not so private parts but i've been nauseated and haunted.  Even drooling over the pictures in People Magazine accompanying the article naming George Clooney  the Sexiest Man Alive (no duh) only blurred those most putrid images slightly.  Time is beginning to heal the wound but the damage to my psyche and the 20% of  innocence i had left has been done. The internet IS a dangerous place.

posted by: rustymadgal at 12/04/06 12:59 | link | comments (4) |

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